


Fix Me

by innersanctuaries



Series: NaNoWriMo Short Fics [14]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fix-It, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-14
Updated: 2017-11-17
Packaged: 2019-02-02 07:20:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12722136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/innersanctuaries/pseuds/innersanctuaries
Summary: If you love something, let it go and pray that it returns.





	1. Comfort Me

**Author's Note:**

> So, I fucked up. 
> 
> I got way too attached and emotional about that fic I wrote the other day, Hold Me. I've been angsting over it the past day or so and decided that I couldn't leave it the way I did. Therefore, I'm fixing it. Putting a band-aid on it. Makin' it better. 
> 
> One teensy little issue with that is the fact that hey, I make these kinds of things long-ish. Long for what's supposed to be a short oneshot, that is. Because of that, we get chapters.
> 
> I'm giving myself an out and saying that each chapter counts as one of my daily NaNoWriMo posts. I've already got two other fics I'm workin on, no way can I be doing three plus an extra each day. 
> 
> This takes place two years after Hold Me, where Sam and Amelia got married at the end. A few things in this chapter won't be explained until later, so just bear with me. 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy this! 
> 
> Inspo Song is the sound of my class doing their peer reviews way too loudly.

Waking up to the noise of someone pounding on the front door in the middle of the night was never pleasant. Unfortunately for him, it’d been happening far too often in this past month for Gabriel’s liking.

 

 Groaning, he grabbed the baseball bat he’d taken to keeping next to his bed and clumsily got to his feet, grumbling all the way to the door.

 

 “Kali, I swear to god, if you brought another guy today he’ll be leaving with a lot more than just a broken nose!” Gabriel yelled, adjusting his grip on the baseball bat and preparing to swing as he unlocked the front door.

 

_ I really need to get myself a goddamn peephole. _

 

__ He threw the door open in the hopes of surprising whoever was on the other side. At seeing a tall male, he swung without hesitation, letting out a battle cry.

 

“Gabriel, wait!”

 

 A familiar voice made him slam on the brakes, stopping right before the bat made contact with the man cowering before him.

 

 “ _ Sam? _ What the hell are you doing here?”

 

 Sam looked like shit, to say the least. Not just because it was three in the morning, no, his eyes were red and puffy from crying. Hell, he was  _ still _ crying. How something managed to fuck up someone as big as Sam was enough to make him look as small as he did right then, he’d never know. Gabriel didn’t bother seeing whether or not Sam was going to answer, ushering him inside. 

 

 “Get in the house, it’s freezing out! There’s a blanket on the couch, go warm yourself up while I get you something hot to drink.”

 

“You really don’t have t-”

 

 Gabriel raised a finger to his lips, shushing him. “Don’t even start with me, kid. Couch. Blanket.  _ Now. _ ”

 

 Sam obeyed, shuffling over to the couch and wrapping himself in the fleece blanket he had laying there. It didn’t take Gabriel long to prepare and come back with a cup of tea for him, pressing the warm mug into his shaking hands. He put his hands around Sam’s icy ones, trying to help them thaw. 

 

Staring straight down at his tea, Sam sniffled, trying and failing to hide the silent tears still rolling down his cheeks, one or two dripping onto Gabriel’s hands. 

 

 “Hey,” Gabriel leaned down and brushed Sam’s hair out of his face, trying to get him to look up. “What’s goin’ on, Sammy?”

 

 He just shook his head in response, taking a sip of his drink before setting it down. Finally, he looked up at Gabriel, and he didn’t think he’d ever seen Sam look that sad. At least, not since Jess died. 

 

“Can I stay the night?” Sam asked weakly, voice cracking.

 

 “Both of our names are on the lease here, Sammy. Mi casa es literally su casa.”

 

 Not even that could get a smile out of him, just a small nod. “Thank you.”

 

 “C’mon, the bed’s all yours.”

 

“But that’s your-”

 

 “Pretty sure I told you not to give me any of that shit, hmm?”

 

 For the first time in years, Gabriel was the one to tuck Sam in bed after a bad night. He hadn’t missed this, not the bad part. What he missed was being able to be there with him, be there  _ for  _ him.  

 

 “Alright kiddo,” He finished getting Sam set up, warm in the pajamas he’d left behind when he moved in with Amelia. “I’ll see you in the morning. Well, later in the morning when it’s not dark out anymore.”

 

“Wait,” A tug on his shirtsleeve stopped him in his tracks. Turning back, Sam was looking up at him with weepy eyes, sounding almost hesitant. “Can you stay? Like before?”

 

_ Like before, like that first night where you crawled into my sleeping bag and kept me safe? Like before, when you’d have a nightmare and you’d crawl into bed with me and silently beg me to keep you safe? Like when Jess died and I held you until you finished crying yourself to sleep, making sure you had someone to remind you the dreams of burning alive weren’t real?  _

 

 Gabriel didn’t give an answer, instead he turned around and motioned for Sam to scoot over, then curled up next to him. It was like instinct, him pulling Sam in and holding him tight. It was like instinct, until he remembered that he was  _ married  _ now, and he wasn’t allowed to feel anything right now. It was like instinct until he realized that he couldn’t feel a wedding ring on his best friend’s hand anymore. 

 

 “Shit, I think you lost your ring.”

 

“I didn’t,” Sam buried his face in Gabriel’s chest, and he pretended not to feel the tears beginning to soak their way through his shirt. “I left it with her.”

 

_ Hold him tighter, make him feel safe, keep him safe _

 

 “What happened, Sammy?”

 

“She’s cheating on me,” His voice was barely above a whisper. “I was out with Dean, but he had an emergency with Cas. I got home early, I brought her flowers and everything. I wanted to surprise her by coming home early. But...I just found her getting fucking railed by some guy.”

 

 “Oh, Sam…” Sam sobbed into his chest, clutching him tightly. He didn’t think he’d ever been as angry as he was right then, seeing the man he loved falling apart. All because his wife didn’t think he was good enough, or maybe she just got bored. Hell, maybe she fell in love with someone else!

 

“I don’t know what I did wrong! I tried, I tried so hard. I swear I tried to be a good husband, but I wasn’t good enough.”

 

 “Samuel Winchester, don’t you  _ dare  _ think like that. You  _ are _ good enough. It’s not your fault that she can’t appreciate you the way she should. She’s the idiot here, letting go of someone like you.”

 

“She’s not letting go of anything important. She can find someone better, someone who doesn’t carry the same baggage that I do, you know?” He let out a bitter laugh. “Maybe she finally got tired of trying to comfort me when I had nightmares. Maybe she just thought that I loved Jess more than I love her.”

 

 “You love them both differently, it’s not hard to understand.”

 

“Yeah, that’s what I’ve told her. I don’t think she believes me.”

 

 “Then she’s a fucking moron,” Gabriel ran his fingers through Sam’s hair, thanking any and every god in the heavens on high when he started falling asleep. “You’re so much better than you think you are, kiddo.”

 

 Sam nuzzled into Gabriel’s chest, somehow managing to get closer than he already had been. 

 

“Love you, Gabriel.”

 

 He’d always been one to fall asleep quickly, absolutely no issues with conking out whenever and wherever he wanted to. This time was no different, as soon as the words had left his mouth, he was out like a light. Gabriel had always been the exact opposite, taking hours and hours for sleep to finally take him into its arms. The only exceptions were the times he had Sam next to him, warm and comfortable and safe. 

 

 Gabriel kissed Sam’s forehead. “I love you too, Sam.”

  
 He slept well that night.


	2. Defend Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't mean for this chapter to be this long! This was a mistaaaaaaaake!! Anyway, I'm so glad I got to this chapter, I've been super hyped for it since yesterday, and WOULD HAVE written it yesterday if I'd had the time or motivation to do it. Today I had both of those, but also, not really. The aforementioned time probably should have gone to writing an essay that's due tomorrow, but y'know what? I can do it before class, I'm sure my grade will survive.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy it! Song inspo is There's Nothing Holding Me Back by Shawn Mendes
> 
> (https://youtu.be/UsPLplYE4Mk)

Waking up brought a whole new world of surprises for him. The first being that the previous night had not, in fact, been a dream. Sam really and truly was in bed with him, really and truly looking like shit.

 

 The second surprise was just that. Sam was an early riser, but at noon, he was still sound asleep.  

 

 Now, both of these were surprising, enough to wake him up as much as he could without having some form of caffeine in his system. The third thing wasn’t so much surprising as it was shocking and somewhat horrifying.

 

 He hadn’t noticed the night before, most likely due to the fact that his eyes had already been red, but Sam had definitely gotten punched in the face. He was sporting a hell of a shiner, enough so that it had Gabriel wincing at the sight of it.

 

 Gabriel hated to wake Sam up when he was looking so peaceful, but he had way too many questions and knew that if he slept any longer, he’d be groggy and grumpy for the rest of the day. That was, if Sam even had the ability to be anything but miserable right now.

 

 “Sammy, time to get up,” He shook him lightly, running his fingers through Sam’s hair again. It was definitely only to wake him up, not at all because he enjoyed doing it. Sam groaned, pulling him back into his arms and holding him hostage. “Hey! It’s time to get up, you giant teddy bear!”

 

“Mm-mm”

 

 Letting him stay in bed a bit longer was an option, one that he was heavily considering. The longer he stayed asleep, the longer Sam was able to not think about what had happened to him. But he knew his best friend well enough to say that he’d want Gabriel to wake him up to face the day.

 

 “C’mon, sleeping beauty. Don’t make me shove you off the bed.”

 

“You wouldn’t.” Sam’s voice was muffled, face buried in Gabriel’s hair.

 

 “I’ve done it before, I’ll do it again.”

 

“You’re a dick,” To his surprise, Sam didn’t let go of him despite the fact that he was awake. Instead, he pulled back enough so they could have a face-to-face conversation. “God, I have a hangover-worthy headache.”

 

 “No kidding. Do I need to check for a concussion?”

 

“Why would you need to do that?”

 

 “Maybe because you have a massive black eye?”

 

 He felt awful immediately after saying that. All of the previous night’s memories came back to Sam, making him visibly wilt.

 

“Oh, yeah. You should see the other guy. Probably needed a doctor.”

 

 “Jesus, what’d you do?”

 

“I broke his nose and accidentally threw him through the window,” Sam gingerly reached up and lightly pressed on the bruise. “Unfortunately, he didn’t die.”

 

 Based on how hard he’d winced, Gabriel made a mental note to check if Sam’s cheekbone was broken.

 

 “Who swung first?”

 

“He did. It was self defense. You know I wouldn’t do that if it wasn’t.”

 

 “Well, you’d break his nose, it’s the window throwing you’d skip out on.”

 

“Aw, you know me so well.”

 

   Silence wasn’t a good thing in these situations. Silence meant overthinking, it meant spiraling down into a dark pit of depression.

 

 “I’m going to go make us breakfast, be back in a bit.”

 

“I can do it, I’m already putting you ou-”

 

 “Holy shit, Sam. Keep your ass right there and quit thinking you’re bothering me! I swear, you’re fine.”

 

“Sorry,” The look on his face made Gabriel feel like he’d kicked a puppy. “You know, I had no idea where else I could go. I mean, I could have gone to Dean’s, but I ended up here. You were really the only person I wanted to be around.”

 

 Fuck if that didn’t somehow manage to break his heart and make it beat right out of his chest.

 

 “You’re always welcome here, Sammy,” Gabriel was probably overstepping, that much he knew. That still didn’t stop him from kissing Sam on the forehead and the tip of his nose, just like he had when they were younger. “This is your house too.”

 

“Okay,” Sam nodded. “Okay.”

 

 Despite it all, no matter how sad and heartbroken he was, Sam still pulled Gabriel into a hug. One of those that he craved every day Gabriel was away from him, one of the ones he ached for. He clung to Sam, sighing happily at the feeling of being held by him again.

 

  _He didn’t know how to react, sitting down at a dinner table with a whole family for the first time in his life. Talking and laughing and smiling at each other, Sam insisting they sit next to each other with bright eyes. He couldn’t take it, it was so overwhelming, it was so new that he ran and hid. Under the stairwell, he had his first panic attack, alone. Of course he was alone. When any other child would call for their parents, he didn’t know who to call. Nobody cared enough to come to him and he knew that._

 

_Head between his knees, tears streaking down his cheeks, he almost screamed when someone touched him. It was too much, the touch. Touch wasn’t something he was used to, but the worried eyes that met his were something he could get used to quickly. Sam opened his arms, inviting him in for a hug. How sad was it that Gabriel wasn’t sure what that meant? Sam slowly moved forward and finally wrapped his arms around Gabriel, hugging him tightly. Immediately, he was addicted. He leaned into the touch, he couldn’t get enough._

 

_“Issokay, Gabriel. Don’t be sad.”_

 

_Gabriel sobbed as Sam held him, pulling him into his lap. While he was two years older, Sam was still bigger than he was, just enough that he could cradle Gabriel and shush him, petting his hair. He held him until Gabriel’s breathing evened out, and when he looked up, Sam smiled and wiped his tears. Leaning down, Sam kissed him on the forehead and on the tip of his nose._

 

_“Mama says that if you kiss someone where they hurt, it makes it better.”_

 

_“Sammy? My heart hurts.”_

 

_Without hesitation, he leaned down and kissed him right where his heart was. Gabriel thought that he could feel it get better._

 

_“Better?”_

 

_“Better.”_

 

“Love you, Gabriel.”

 

 “You too, kiddo,” Sam let him go, much to his disappointment. Gabriel hoped he hadn’t heard how hard his heart was beating. “Now, I’ll be right back with food.”

 

 He didn’t think he’d ever prepared breakfast as quickly as he did at that moment. There was no way he was going to leave Sam stewing in his own thoughts for any longer than was absolutely necessary.

 

 Prancing into the room, Gabriel set down three plates of food on the nightstand and handed Sam a mug of piping hot coffee.

 

 “Scrambled eggs with a dash of salt and a bit of oregano, pancakes, _extra_ crispy bacon, and hashbrowns with a side of breakfast sausages,” He said proudly. “And don’t forget the coffee, black with two cubes of sugar and a touch of honey!”

 

 Okay, so he was showing off a bit. But really, he wanted to make sure Sam knew that someone remembered, that someone still cared. Based on the look on Sam’s face, he decided that he’d done everything right.

 

“How the hell do you remember all of that?” Sam said, surprised almost to the point of tears.

 

 “First off, I have a good memory,” He grinned as Sam took a sip of his coffee and made a happy noise. “Second off, we lived together for what, thirteen years? Eleven at home and two here, right? Trust me, I know you.”

 

“Thank you,” Sam patted a spot in bed next to him, inviting Gabriel to sit. Gladly, he ran over and hopped into the warm bed with him. “Sugar cubes, huh? You still have those?”

 

 “I can’t shake the habit, I guess it just stuck.”

 

“I still buy them too,” Sam held a piece of bacon towards him, and Gabriel couldn’t help but accept it. “Mom never fails to make fun of me for it.”

 

 “Don’t even get me started. I don’t think I’ve ever been able to meet someone new around her without her telling them the whole story.”

 

“Can you blame her?”

 

 “Yes I can!”

 

“Alright, I’d blame her too,” Sam barely had the time to talk as he shoveled food into his mouth. “C’mon, eat some of this before it’s gone!”

 

 “Christ, don’t eat it all before I get a fork!”

 

“No promises.”

 

 _______________

 

_“Damn, we’re out of sugar,” Mary groaned, looking through the pantry though she knew she wouldn’t find anything. “Ugh, and the car is still in the shop, too!”_

 

_“I’ll walk to the store and get some later, mom!” Dean called out from the living room._

 

_“Hmm, let me think. A twelve year old walking an hour to the store and an hour back at night. That sounds like a fantastic idea!”_

 

_“Does that mean yes?” Dean said hopefully._

 

_“That means no with a capital N, mister. Have you even done your homework yet?”_

 

_“Uhh.”_

 

_“Dean Winchester, you turn off that television and go do your work right now!”_

 

_Gabriel watched as Dean grumbled and shuffled up to his room, annoyance radiating off of him. Mary was still in the kitchen, staring dejectedly at her still-bitter cup of coffee. A lightbulb went off right above his head, and he wasted no time leaping into action._

 

_Sneaking out the front door, Gabriel dashed next door to his house, grabbing the spare key from under the welcome mat and letting himself in. Running up to his room, he rooted around through his closet until he found exactly what he wanted._

 

_He pulled out his piggy bank, shaking its contents out onto the pristine white carpet. Carefully, he counted every cent and dollar bill he had hidden in there. Twelve dollars and seventeen cents. Deciding that it would have to do, he left the house and went on his way to the store._

 

_It hadn’t been the best idea to go out at six in the afternoon when he didn’t know exactly how to get to the store. Somehow, he managed. Once inside, he wandered from aisle to aisle, searching for the sugar he wanted._

 

_“Hey sweetie, where are your parents?”_

 

_A woman came up to him, wearing a nametag, which meant that she worked here!_

 

_“Excuse me ma’am, do you know where the sugar is?”_

 

_“It’s actually right down this aisle, would you like me to show you?”_

 

_“Yes please!”_

 

_She brought him to what looked like a massive wall filled with so many different types of sugar that it blew his mind. No matter how hard he searched, he couldn’t find the one that Mary liked._

 

_“Do you need help, hon?”_

 

_“...yeah”_

 

_“What are you looking for?”_

 

_“Mom- uh, Mary needs sugar for her coffee. She just ran out.”_

 

_“Well, brown sugar is nice, but most people like white sugar better. Do you know which one she gets?”_

 

_“I know she gets the white sugar.”_

 

_His eyes landed on a box sitting right in front of him._

 

_“This one. I’m getting this one. Do you know where the honey is?”_

 

_“It’s right over there, sweetie.”_

 

_“My name is Gabriel.”_

 

_The nice lady bent down to shake his hand, giving him a warm grin._

 

_“Nice to meetcha, Gabriel! I’m Donna.”_

 

_“Hi Donna. Thank you for helping me, you’re nice.”_

 

_“Aw, it’s my job to help, I’m just glad I got to help you!”_

 

_“See you later, Donna!”_

 

_Gabriel grabbed the bear-shaped bottle of honey from the shelf and waved goodbye to Donna. He made his way to the checkout line and came out unscathed. All he had left was one penny. Looking it over, it was shiny and brand new, from that year and everything! Stuffing it in his pocket, he made his way back home in the dark._

 

_It was late, though he didn’t know what time. He was scared as he walked through the night, toting around his little grocery bag. The moment he saw the light coming from the inside of his- the Winchesters’ home, relief washed over him. He hadn’t been given a key yet, so he went right up to the door and knocked. Mary threw the door open in a panic, looking as if she’d been crying._

 

_“Did you find him?!”_

 

_She seemed to notice that there was nobody adult-sized in front of her, searching for who had knocked._

 

_“Who are you looking for, Mo- Mary?”_

 

_“Gabriel?! Oh god, Gabriel, where have you been!”_

 

_Mary scooped him up in her arms and carried him inside, pretending that she wasn’t crying as she held him. Sitting him down on the couch, she crossed her arms and scowled at him._

 

_“We were worried sick, I had no idea where you went! You can’t just leave like that, Gabriel! Where have you been?”_

 

_Gabriel got up and gave her the bag._

 

_“I got you sugar. I didn’t want you to walk, you’re tired.”_

 

_Her face softened immediately as she opened the bag and pulled out both the honey and a box of sugar cubes._

 

_“Those are fancy sugars, right? Do you like them?”_

 

_Mary got down on her knees and hugged him close._

 

_“I love them, Gabriel. Thank you so much.”_

 

_From then on, every time he saw her sweeten her coffee, dropping two cubes and squeezing out the smallest bit of honey, he couldn’t help but grin from ear to ear._

 

 _______________

 

   Breakfast hadn’t been a meal so much as it had been a battle for dominance, each of them desperately trying to stuff as much food in their mouths as possible. They’d both ended up looking like chipmunks, making them both laugh so hard they nearly spewed half-chewed pancakes all over the room.

 

 Washing the dishes together felt like Sam had never left in the first place. He washed, Sam dried and put the plates away. There was definitely no reason behind that, especially not a height-related one. It wasn’t like Gabriel couldn’t reach the higher shelves, Sam just preferred to put the plates away. Obviously.

 

  It turned out that Sam didn’t just have a black eye, but his knuckles also happened to be various different shades that were decidedly not regular knuckle colors. They were bruised and split, so Gabriel did what he did best. He banished Sam to sit on the couch while he gathered the first aid supplies he needed to fix him up.

 

 “Your knuckles tell me you got some good hits in, but your face tells me he got at least one in first.”

 

“It’s the one and only hit he threw.”

 

 “You knocked him out before he could swing again?”

 

“Hell yeah I did. I don’t exactly like getting punched in the f-ahh!” Gabriel dabbed at Sam’s knuckles with rubbing alcohol, getting him a pained hiss. “Warn me next time, will you? That stings!”

 

 “I think that’s the point.”

 

“Stop it, that hurts!”

 

 “I can’t believe it. You can throw a fully grown man through a window, but you can’t take a little rubbing alcohol?” He pressed the cotton swab down a bit harder than he should have, just to make a point. “Get it together, kid!”

 

 They spent the next damn hour with Sam complaining and Gabriel rolling his eyes, both of them not really caring as much as they said they did. Gabriel was happy to be with Sam after so long, even though he shouldn’t have due to the circumstances.

 

 Sam had gone to change, but not five minutes later he dejectedly walked back into the living room.

 

“I don’t have any other clothes here.”

  _Well shit._

 

 “You wanna go buy some?”

 

“Not really.”  

 

 “...You wanna go back to your house and get some?”

 

 He slowly nodded, a pained look on his face. Neither of them liked that option. Gabriel knew that Sam hated it a million times more than he did, but he hated it nonetheless. While Sam would walk in, grab his clothes, and walk right back out, Gabriel was willing to go the extra mile and fuck some shit up.

 

 “You’re gonna have to give me about an hour to get ready, I have to do something.”

 

“Oh no,” Sam gave him a suspicious look, almost like he knew exactly what Gabriel was going to do. “What exactly do you need to do, huh?”

 

 “Right now? I need to go down to the grocery store. Wanna come with?”

 

“What for? Not like we’re bringing them a housewarming gift.” Sam had already started tying his shoes, ready to go even if he was a bit hesitant.

 

 “Depends on what you consider a gift,” Gabriel turned to Sam with a wicked grin. “Let’s go, Sammy. I need to get me some ghost peppers.”

 

_______________

 

 The house Sam lived in was a picture-perfect, white picket fence, American dream-esque home. At least, it usually was. Currently, the bedroom facing the street was out one window, jagged glass scattered across the front porch. If Gabriel hadn’t been so furious, he might have laughed.

 

 Sam tried to insist on going alone, but there was no way in hell Gabriel would let that happen. If he was being honest, Amelia had never been his favorite person, and he was pretty sure the feeling was mutual. Every time she’d dropped by the apartment when he and Sam still lived together, he could feel her eyes on him the second he’d look the other way. The way she looked at him made him want to kick her out of the apartment sometimes, but Sam loved her, so he dealt with it.

 

 So hearing that she’d had the gall to cheat on Sam? Yeah, that pissed him off to no end. If it were up to him, he would have gone in guns blazing, ready to demolish anyone in his way. Instead, here he was, walking up to the doorstep and arguing with Sam about whether or not he should just walk in to _his own goddamn home._

 

“But what if he’s there? I don’t want to get into another fight, Gabriel.”

 

 “This is _your house!_ You have every right to waltz right the hell in, and the fact that you’re thinking twice about that baffles me!”

 

“I don’t want to cause more shit.”

 

 “Know what?” Gabriel picked up and threw Amelia’s favorite flower across the front porch, relishing the sound of the pot shattering. He held the spare key up for Sam to see and jammed it into the lock before he could snatch it away. “We’re going in.”

 

 Throwing the door open, he ignored Sam’s desperate protests and called out in a sing-song voice. “Oh Amelia, honey! We’re home, you lying, cheating bitch!”

 

“I’m going to kill you, that’s it, I’m going to kill you.”

 

 “Nah, you love me too much.” Ironically enough, Sam hid behind Gabriel, who walked along like he owned the damn place.

 

 There was a commotion in the upstairs room, and there was definitely a male voice somewhere up there. Sam seemed to fold in on himself, screwing his eyes shut.

 

“Let’s just leave.”

 

 “Hell no, I have a job to do.”

 

“What the hell are _you_ doing here?” Amelia had run down the stairs, tennis racket in hand. She wasn’t directing herself at Sam, no, she was talking to him.

 

 “Amelia, lovely Amelia! How _are_ you today? More importantly, how’s your friend? I heard he’s feeling a little under the weather.”

 

“What the hell is he doing here, Sam?”

 

“He’s here to help me get some of my things.” Sam deadpanned. Amelia was taken aback, offended even.

 

“You’re leaving? Over something like this? Sam, this isn’t a big deal, we can fix it!”

 

 “Not a big deal?” Gabriel scoffed, shoehorning himself between her and Sam. Plucking the tennis racket from her hand, he sized her up. She looked just fine. Like none of this had affected her in the slightest. “First off, you cheated on him. That sounds like a pretty big deal to me, don’t you think?”

 

“Give it back!” She made a grab for the racket as he threw it over his shoulder, kicking it behind him as far as it’d go.

 

 “Second off, please get out of the way so we can get his shit and go home.”

 

“Honey? Who’s there?” A nasal voice called from behind her.

 

 As a man came forward to stand next to Amelia, he could feel Sam straighten up, feel his fists clench. Their eyes met, both of them staring the purest kind of hatred at each other. The only difference between Sam and this asshole was the fact that the other guy had fear behind the hatred. Sam? All he had was fury and hurt.

 

 “Yikes, you look like you had a bad day. What happened to the face?” Gabriel gestured at him, quirking an eyebrow. “Play a game of ‘got your nose’ with Sam and lose?”

 

“Who’s the midget?”

 

 “First time I’ve heard that one,” Gabriel said drily. “You know what? We’re not here for this. Sam, clothes are in the top room, right?”

 

“Um. Yeah, top room.”

 

 “Sounds good.”

 

Clapping his hands together, he threw the happy couple a smug smile, then made like Moses and parted them like the red sea to go down the hall. The guy tried to stand strong and shoved back hard, nearly knocking Gabriel on his ass. Before he toppled over, a pair of strong hands caught him halfway down. He came face to face with a concerned Sam.

 

“You okay?” Gabriel nodded. Whatever he was about to say was cut off by Sam spinning on his heel and slamming the other man into the wall, absolutely _seething._ “Touch him again and you’re going out of the second-story window, asshole.”

 

 He looked like he was about ready to piss himself, letting out a weak ‘mm-hmm’ before Sam let him go.

 

“ _Now_ let’s go.”

 

 It was a nice house, but he wanted so badly to burn it to ashes if only for Sam to stop looking around as if just being here was torture. They gathered his clothes up, at least enough for a week or two.

 

 “We good here?”

 

“Yeah. It’s time to go.”

 

 Sam was the first to walk out, exactly as Gabriel had planned. Sneaking over to the nightstand, he left tweedle dee and tweedle dum a little present of his own. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to see the outcome of it, but he sure as hell was happy that he knew how it would turn out. Snickering, he practically skipped out of the room.

 

 He should have known better than to let Sam go first in this situation, that was the only thing going through his head as he ran down the stairs at the noise of angry and raised voices.

 

“So you’re just going to _ruin_ our marriage over something like this?!”

 

“You’re fucking your co-worker! I fail to see how _I’m_ the one ruining anything, Amelia!”

 

“Hey, you two need to calm down. I’m sure that we can talk this ou-”

 

 “Oh, shut the fuck up. You’re not a part of this, go back to wherever you came from.”

 

 The guy narrowed his eyes at Gabriel, visibly contemplating whether or not he should answer back or get physical. With one glance at Sam, he seemingly decided that no, neither of the options were a good idea. Gabriel snorted at the sight of him slinking away to their room with his tail between his legs.

 

“I can’t believe you’d bring your little _boyfriend_ with you. He’s got you so whipped, doesn’t he?”

 

“Gabriel? He’s my best friend, and you know that. Leave him out of this.”

 

 Amelia threw her head back and laughed, an ugly and bitter thing. “You’re fucking joking. You’ve always liked him more. _Loved_ him more. I don’t even know why you bothered marrying me when you have him, Sam.”

 

 “You do realize that you’re talking to your husband right now?”

 

“Shut up,” She sneered, giving Gabriel a once over. “You’re head over heels for him, of course you’re going to want to break us up.”

 

 “You listen the hell up, Amelia,” Gabriel hissed. “Even if I was in love with him, all I’d want would be the best for him. I still would have put up with your jealous ass, if you made him happy. The problem is that right now? You’re just being a massive bitch.”

 

 Inhaling deeply, he tried as hard as he could not to throw her out the window so her face would match her new boyfriend’s. “Now, do me a favor and quit blocking the door. We’re leaving.”

 

 Gabriel made sure that Sam went first, mostly to make sure that she wouldn’t try to get the last word, but also to flip her off and slam the door in her face.

 

 It was a quiet ride home. Gabriel tried to cool down and waited for his blood to stop boiling, while Sam blankly stared down at the stack of neatly folded clothes he had in his lap. Gabriel helped in any way that he could, taking half of the clothes and the shoes he brought up to the apartment, putting it away for him after making sure he was comfortable, even making him his favorite soup for dinner.

 

“I think,” Sam mumbled between bites. “That if she’s really like that, then I’m better off without her.”

 

 “I think so too, sugar.”

 

“By the way, why’d you take so long in the room?”

 

 A cheshire cat grin spread across Gabriel’s face. “Remember those ghost peppers?”

 

“Yes?” Sam sounded almost scared. Gabriel reached into his pocket and threw at least a full box worth of condoms in the air, raining down on them like confetti. “Holy shit, what’d you do to theirs?”

 

 “These _are_ theirs! I swapped them with ours. Poked a little hole in the packaging and gave ‘em a little ghost pepper soak.”

 

“Oh _no!_ All of them? _”_

 

 “Oh yes! Each and every last one!”

 

   Sam snorted so hard that he squirted broth out of his nose, only serving to make them both laugh even harder than they already had been.

 

 “How do you think that hospital visit’s gonna go over?”

 

“Doctor, doctor! My dick is on fire!”

 

 “You’ll have to wait just a second while I get my microscope to get a better look, sir!”

 

 They ended the day with giggle fits, smiles, and dick jokes. Lots and lots of dick jokes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ghost peppers came to me in a dream last night at 4:27am, so thank my subconscious for that one. I know I am! Pretty sure the unnamed dude and Amelia won't be thanking me, though. 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, I'll be posting another one tomorrow! Please comment feedback, it helps keep me motivated and lets me know what you guys do and don't like!


	3. Keep Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter already! I meant for this to be short, but it turned out to be longer than what I have written for one of my main WIPs right now. 
> 
> I've officially fixed Hold Me all the way. We're good, no sad, no nothing.
> 
> I might edit this in the morning because right now I'm really out of it. It's 5:30 in the morning, man. I'm dyin here.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy this!!

The divorce had been as quick and easy as a divorce could be, taking about a month and a half to wrap everything up. 

 One of the very few good things to come of this was a phone call from Cas just a bit less than a week after he and Sam had gone to grab his clothes.

 

 “Domino’s pizza, may I take your order?”

 

“Gabriel, I’d very much like to know why Amelia and a man named Brett are currently on gurneys crying due to extreme burning sensations in their genitalia.”

 

 “Damn, even his name is douchey. What, was he a fuckboy jock back in high school?”

 

“ _ Gabriel, _ ” Cas stressed. “What did you do this time?”

 

 That question right there put him in a compromising situation. On one hand, his brother kind of needed that information, being the doctor and all. On the other, Sam had chosen not to tell anyone about what had happened for the time being, and he was head over heels for him. In the end, he decided to compromise. 

 

 “Hang on just one sec, Cassie.”

 

 Ignoring the protests on the other end, he left the phone on the table and ran to find Sam. Thankfully enough, he’d taken the week off of work, using up a few of his sick days to try and recuperate from the shitstorm that was currently his life. 

 

 “ _ Psst,” _ Gabriel called to Sam from the doorway of their room. “Cas just had two people run in with, and this is an exact quote, ‘extreme burning sensations in their genitalia’.”

 

“Oh shit,” Sam sighed, rubbing his face with his hands. “He’s asking what happened, isn’t he?”

 

 “Yeah, kinda.”

 

“Tell him, it’s fine.” His face told Gabriel that it was not, in fact, okay. 

 

 “You sure?”

 

“I don’t want to hear all the ‘I’m so soooorry, Sam!’ and ‘I’m going to kill him!’ shit right now, but it was bound to happen eventually.”

 

 “Alright, I’ll go tell him. Then maybe a movie? You can pick this time.”

 

 The most he got was a nod, and he took that as a plea for some time alone. Gabriel went back out to call Cas back, only to find that he was  _ still _ waiting for him on the other end.

 

“Gabriel?”

 

 “Don’t you have a job to do?”

 

“I can’t do my job without information on how to do it.”

 

 “The bitch cheated on Sam.” He said bluntly. The shocked silence that followed was just about what he’d expected. 

 

“I’m suddenly very frustrated that I’m unable to turn them away to go suffer somewhere else.”

 

 “You and me both, Cas.”

 

“Since that’s not a possibility, I must ask again. What exactly did you do to them?”

 

 “I soaked their condoms in ghost pepper juice.”

 

 Cas hissed in through his teeth, probably imagining what that would be like. Gabriel tried not to, because if he did, he might feel a smidgen of pity. A very,  _ very _ small smidge.

 

“I’ve never been happier for your pranks. Thank you for that.”

 

 “For the information or the condoms?”

 

“Definitely the condoms,” Gabriel could distinctly hear crying in the background, and it was definitely Amelia’s voice. Music to his ears. “I’ll speak to you later, brother. I need to clean up your mess.”

 

 “Not too quickly!”

 

“I’ll be sure to delay the process as much as possible.”

 

 That had been the best part of the divorce. 

 

 As for the worst, there was a lot of that. Sam was someone who loved with every fiber of his being. When he fell, he fell  _ hard _ . He had loved Amelia with everything he was. Hell, he still did. With time, it did get better, but whenever they had to meet, it was like his entire world came crashing down on him all over again. 

 

 That was the hardest thing for Gabriel. There was so little he could do, most of the time he felt almost like all he could do was sit and watch Sam stare at the divorce papers with tears in his eyes, frozen in place. All he could do was pluck them out of his hands and hold him. 

 

 That was happening a lot lately. Growing up as an attention starved child, he’d always been the one to come crawling to Sam, wordlessly pleading for some sort of physical contact. He hadn’t been choosy, it didn’t matter if it had been a pat on the head or getting to fall asleep in Sam’s arms. Now? Now it seemed as if their roles had been reversed. Sam never had to ask for it, Gabriel always knew when he needed to be held, or just needed to have someone next to him. As someone who’d grown up like that, he knew when someone was silently asking for affection. 

 

 There were occasions in which he  _ had _ to meet with Amelia whether he liked it or not, and those were the times where Gabriel hid the alcohol in places he knew that Sam would never find. Gabriel made sure that he always tagged along, even if seeing Sam’s face go blank and emotionless the moment he laid eyes on her was like a dagger to the heart. If she got to walk out with good ol’ Brett at her side, then he’d be right there next to Sam whether she liked it or not. 

 

“You know, I can go alone. I know you hate going.”

 

 “So do you.” Gabriel pointed out.

 

 Sam sighed. “But I kinda  _ have  _ to go. You don’t.”

 

 “You drive stupid when you’re upset,” He said plainly. “I’m never going to wait to see if you end up dead or alive again. So wait for me to get my shoes on before you go.”

 

 That was the first and last time they ever had that conversation, mainly because every word he’d spoken rung true. The day after Jess died, Gabriel ended up in the hospital waiting room after a nasty car crash. Granted, it hadn’t been all Sam’s fault, but he knew that if he’d been going slower, if he’d been paying attention to the road instead of his own grief, he would have seen the drunk driver coming. That was the worst night of his life, waiting for someone to come out and tell him that the person he loved more than life itself was dead. He’d never let that happen again. 

 

 The most surprising thing to come of the divorce, he thought, was the conversation Amelia decided they needed to have.

 

“Gabriel, I need to talk to you.” 

 

 “Yeah? Sam needed you to not bang your co-worker, yet here we are.”

 

“It never would have worked out anyway.”

 

 “So it took you  _ two years  _ of being married to realize that?” Setting down the box of Sam’s books, he leaned up on the wall and crossed his arms. “Do tell me, how would it not have worked out?”

 

“He loves you more than he’s ever loved me, and you know that,” She spat bitterly. “I can’t measure up to whatever the hell you are to him.”

 

 “He doesn’t feel jack shit for me, sweets,” Gabriel sneered. “If Dean were here, would you tell him the same thing?”

 

“Dean is his brother! If he looked at Dean the way he looked at you, I’d have left ages ago!” 

 

 “If you think he’s so in love with me, why the fuck would you stay with him?”

 

“I thought it’d change!” She exclaimed. “I thought- I thought that maybe if I stayed with him, if I married him, he’d love me like that. But it didn’t happen, so here we are!”

 

 “I can’t believe you, Amelia,” Shaking his head, he silently reminded himself of all the reasons why sucker punching her would not have a good outcome. “None of that shit excuses you doing what you did. Oh, boo fucking hoo, I think my husband doesn’t even know he’s in love with someone else. Which, by the way, he isn’t. You know what a great way to solve that problem is? Let’s cheat on him and wreck our marriage, that’s an awesome idea!”

 

“You have no idea,” She choked out, voice thick with tears. “No  _ idea  _ what it’s like to be married to someone who loves someone else more than they love you.”

 

 “I know what it’s like to be in love with someone your whole damn life and having to let them go, only for them to end up marrying someone who destroys him by cheating. That? That shit is unbearable,” Picking the box back up, he shot her a withering glare. “Do me a favor and leave him the hell alone after the divorce goes through. He’s got enough shit to deal with as it is.”

 

 That was the first time he’d ever said it out loud. It killed him that she was the first to hear it, but it felt like that solidified it all. Like saying it made sure that his heart was locked onto Sam. He’d always known he was a coward, that he would never be able to go through the pain of telling Sam everything and risking the all too real possibility of losing him. And for what? There would be no reason for it, confessing to someone he knew didn’t reciprocate would be idiotic.

 

 No, unlike Amelia, he was okay with this. It sucked, but having Sam with him, having him happy? That was worth it all.

 

 All in all, no matter how hard he tried to convince himself that the good outweighed the bad in the divorce situation, it didn’t work too well. Possibly because it was the biggest pile of bullshit he’d ever thought up. 

 

 The last time he and Sam had to drive to Amelia’s house and back was by far the best. It had been quick, painless, and Gabriel had gotten to leave a few scorpions under their covers. If only he’d be able to see how they liked  _ that _ . 

 

 On the way back, he decided that both he and Sam deserved something good, something to cheer them up. Well, something to cheer Sam up. It was the least he could do. Gabriel was plenty happy, finally having Amelia out of his  _ and _ Sam’s lives. Finally, he’d be able to see Sam heal again, he’d finally be able to see him happy again. 

 

“Where are we going? This isn’t the way back home.”

 

 “Well  _ duh. _ I know that. As for where we’re going, that’s for me to know and you to wonder, sweetcheeks.”

 

 Sam’s face when they pulled into the Cinnabon parking lot was priceless, so much so that he wished that he’d gotten it on camera. 

 

“Seriously?” Sam exclaimed, grinning ear to ear. “I haven’t been here in ages!”

 

 “I figured,” Gabriel laughed. “That's exactly why we’re here! Thought you could use a little pick-me-up.

 Sam had always been a sucker for cinnamon rolls. Mary had liked baking well enough, but it was mostly pie. At age seven, Gabriel had already known how to cook and bake for himself and his family, so when he found the Winchester’s massive pantry, he felt like a kid in a candy store. 

 

_  Mary and John had been out, while Sam and Dean were upstairs asleep. He was as quiet as could be, and after a few hours, he had more cinnamon rolls than he’d ever seen at once (the dough had to sit in the refrigerator for a bit, if not for that they would have been done ages ago). _

 

_  The front door opened as he was drizzling them with the icing he’d managed to put together.  _

 

_ “Gabriel? What are you doing?” _

 

_  “ ‘M just making cinnamon rolls!” _

 

_  Under any other circumstances, John would have flown off the handle at seeing someone that young anywhere near the oven. But the look on the kid’s face was so hopeful, begging for his approval. John knew exactly what it was like to lose your father, or in Gabriel’s case, not really have one at all. He wanted John to reaffirm him, even if he didn’t know it.  _

 

_ “Y’know kid, those look really good. Do you think I could have one?” _

 

_  “Mm-hmm!” Gabriel shook his head so quickly and excitedly that John almost thought he’d snap his neck. “They have to cool down first. In five minutes you can have one! I even have extra icing if you want some, John!” _

 

_ “Gabriel, what’s that?” _

 

_  “G’morning Sammy! Do you want one too?” _

 

_ “What is it?” _

 

_  “I made you cinnamon rolls.” Gabriel said, eyes sparkling as he puffed his chest out proudly. _

 

_ “Daddy, can I have one?” Sam asked, tugging on John’s pant leg. “Pleeeeaaaaassseeee?”  _

 

_ “When they cool down you can have one.” _

 

_  Sam was the first one to try them, and the first one to run to Gabriel and give him a cinnamon sugar sticky kiss right smack on the cheek.  _

 

_ “These are my favorites now. Can you make them every single day?” _

 

_  “I don’t think mom- uh, Mary would like that.” _

 

_ “You can call me mom if you’d like, Gabriel. You and Castiel are our family now, sweetheart.” _

 

_  It was all he could do to keep himself from bursting into tears on the spot. Gabriel had no idea how to react until he remembered how people said thank you without words.  _

 

_  The surprise in the room was palpable when he surged forward and wrapped his arms tightly around Mary. She was shocked, frozen in place. When she finally regained her ability to think, she immediately knelt and pulled him into her arms. In that moment, she held him as if he were her own, her heart full to bursting. _

 

_  “I love you, mom.” Gabriel said shyly. _

 

_ “Oh honey, I love you too.” _

 

_ “Me too!” Sam piped up, running up to join the hug. _

 

_  In the end, it became a massive family hug with Gabriel in the middle, engulfed in the warmth and love he desperately craved.  _

 

_  Everyone loved the cinnamon rolls, even baby Cas squealed happily at getting a taste of them.  _

 

_ “These’re m’ f’vrite!” Sam managed to get out through the mouthful of pastry he’d jammed in his mouth, spewing crumbs everywhere. “Yr’e m’ f’vrite too G’briel!” _

 

_ “Samuel Winchester! What have I told you about talking with your mouth full?” Mary chastised. _

 

_ “S’ry mom.” _

 

_  Gabriel was over the moon. Sure, he was family now, but he was officially Sam’s favorite. Heart soaring, he beamed, smile wider than he ever had before.  _

 

_  “You’re my favorite too, Sammy!” _

 

 For someone who usually stuck to a healthy diet, when he indulged himself, Sam went all out. Well, Gabriel insisted he go all out, knowing that while he might protest at first, Sam would be able to eat a baker’s dozen in one go. 

 

 “One for each year you haven’t been here. Enjoy!” Gabriel slid him a tray holding four boxes, each holding an enormous, piping hot cinnamon roll. 

 

“There is  _ no way  _ I’m going to be able to eat all of these.” Sam said, already opening up the first box.

 

 “First off, this is coming from the man who ate two dozen in one go not three years ago. Second off, one of those is mine, don’t be greedy!”

 

“Fair enough.” He agreed before eating almost half of the cinnamon bun in one bite. At the orgasmic moan he let out, Gabriel’s mouth went dry, his pants suddenly tighter than they’d been a few seconds ago. 

 

“Oh my god, Gabriel. These are amazing, how did I live without these for so long?”

 

 “I’m not-” Choking on his own spit, he cleared his throat and tried to use his hoarse voice once more. “I have no idea. These are my favorites, not sure how you went cold turkey for three years!”

 

“Okay, these are good, but yours are still a million times better.”

 

 “Nah, you’re just trying to butter me up.”

 

“I told you they were my favorites the first time I tried them, and that still hasn’t changed!”

 

 His heart skipped a beat at hearing that he still remembered that, hopefully just as well as he did. “I’ll make ‘em for you again sometime, yeah?”

 

 All Sam could do was nod enthusiastically, mouth too full to respond. Gabriel most likely should have been surprised at how quickly Sam polished his cinnamon buns off, but seeing as how it was Sam, he really wasn’t. 

 

“I’ve been meaning to ask you. That first night I dropped by, you yelled something about Kali, some guy, and a broken nose?”

 

 “Oh, yeah. That.”

 

“I thought you and Kali were doing okay?”

 

 “She was, I wasn’t.” 

 

“I’m sorry, Gabe. What happened?”

 

 “Well,” He swallowed nervously. “I couldn’t do it anymore. You ever been in love with someone else, couldn’t put the other person through that?”

 

“One time.”

 

 He wanted to ask, he really did. The problem was that if he asked, Sam would ask right back. If he asked, how the hell was he supposed to tell Sam that  he’d dumped Kali for him? 

 

 “Yeah, it sucks.”

 

 An awkward silence fell upon them. Sam breathed in deeply, unsure of what to say, while Gabriel sat in place, looking at anyone or anything but Sam.

 

“You guys were together a long time.” It was a statement, but somehow a question.

 

 “About a year.”

 

“Who’d you dump her for?”

 

 “He didn’t love me back. I know that he didn’t, but I dumped her anyway,” Sam raised his eyebrows in both shock and confusion. “It was probably stupid, but I didn’t want her to stay in a dead-end relationship.”

 

“I get that,” Sam tilted his head in confusion, and fuck if he didn’t look like a puppy. “Wait, what about the guy?”

 

 “Guy? Oh, the guy!”

 

“The guy.” 

 

 “So, turns out she’s kind of a vengeful bitch.”

 

“You know,” Sam huffed out a laugh. “I could have told you that. Hell, I’m pretty sure I did!”

 

 “Thanks, Mr. Know-It-All. Your wisdom knows no end,” He said dryly. “As I was  _ saying,  _ she kept showing up at my door. Then one day, I open the damn door to a guy almost twice my height. Fucker was built like a brick shithouse.”

 

“Well fuck.”

 

 “Well fuck, indeed. He waltzed right into my house with her smug ass right behind him. I was about ready to hop out my window.”

 

“How’d you get out of that one?”

 

 “Remember the time that dad took us to the Dodgers game and got us those little baseball bats?”

 

“You didn’t.”

 

 “Sure did. Batter up, bitch!” Gabriel crowed, sitting back in his chair. “I grabbed it and swung as hard as I could. Poor dude’s gonna need some plastic surgery to get his nose back.”

 

 Sam was losing it, doubled over with tears in his eyes.

 

“All that for a guy?!”

 

 That killed the moment. Gabriel’s shoulders slumped forward, expression going dark. “He’s worth it, Sammy. Swear it.”

 

“Mine was worth it too,” Sam got a faraway look in his eyes. “After Amelia, I guess I realized that I should have waited for him. Should have said something. Shouldn’t have let him get away from me.”

 

 Jealousy flowed through his veins, burning so hot it almost felt like ice. “Me too.”

 

“He shouldn’t have let you get away.”

 

 Gabriel jerked his head up, surprised. There it was, there it was again. That soft look painted on Sam’s face, looking at Gabriel as if he’d hung the moon and stars. For one second, he almost said something. Almost told him everything.

 

“Can I take your trash?”

 

 Just like that, the moment was gone. A gawky boy in a uniform didn’t even bother waiting for their responses, taking their garbage with a huff and an eye roll.

 

 Gabriel laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. “Looks like it’s time to go, huh?”

 

“I think he’s trying to kick us out, so let’s go,” Sam said with a laugh, a beautiful thing. It’d been so long since he’d seen a genuine smile out of him. “We’ve got food at home, right?   
  


 “We just ate!”

 

“That wasn’t real food,” He whined like a kid. A twenty-four year old kid. “C’mon, I’m hungry! Please?”

 

 “Fine, sure, whatever. You’ve gotta drive and put any leftover food away, though.”

 

“Sounds good to me!” 

 

 Gabriel should have known better than to say that, because sure enough, there wasn’t a single crumb left after dinner. With a shit-eating grin, Sam grabbed both their plates and went to wash them. Silently, like clockwork, Gabriel joined him in the kitchen. Giving him a hip bump, he knocked Sam away from the sink and threw a towel at him, taking his place. 

 

 They fell asleep just like old times, watching a movie in a pillow fort with popcorn strewn everywhere, courtesy of a popcorn fight. Sam held a sleeping Gabriel tightly, fingers threaded through his hair, dropping a single kiss on the top of his head. 

 

“Love you, Gabriel.”

 

_______________

  
  


 It had been months since the night that Sam showed up at his doorstep, and not a single thing had changed. 

 

 Sam and Gabriel still shared the same bed, even though they’d been swearing up and down that they’d move him back into his own room for ages. Something about it didn’t feel right, something like the fact that neither of the two wanted to be alone. More specifically, they didn’t want to be without each other. 

 

 There hadn’t been a single bit of progress in either of their love lives. Everyone around Gabriel pretty much knew that he was emotionally unavailable. None of them knew why, but that usually stopped anyone from trying to get involved. Sam, however, was a different story.

 

 The moment that ring left his finger, it was like a blast to the past. People started throwing themselves at him, just like old times. But one thing, one tiny little thing, bothered the hell out of him.

 

 Sam turned each and every one of them down. 

 

 That was fine, sure, but there was something else. The way he rejected them was weird. The only word that came to his mind was ‘weird’. It wasn’t like he was eavesdropping, he’d just come by Sam’s office to pick him up. 

 

“Listen, you’re great, and I’m sure you’re going to find someone, but it’s not me.”

 

“Oh, alright. Can I ask you why?”

 

“I...I’ve got my eyes on someone else.”

 

 The fondness in his voice was unmistakable. Sam had been ecstatic to see that Gabriel was bringing him home that day, and Gabriel had been just as ecstatic to bring Sam home that day. 

 

 Since then, he hadn’t been able to think about anything else. Gabriel had always been a naturally curious person, and when he got something in his head, it wouldn’t leave him alone until he got answers. It had been a full week since then, and while he’d been able to act normal around Sam, he was practically going insane on the inside.

 

_ Who’s got Sam wrapped around their finger?  _

 

__ That was the real question, wasn’t it? It always had been, on multiple different occasions. Every time, he’d had the opportunity to confess to Sam before anything happened between him and whoever the hell else had his heart. Every time, he left it alone and let himself get fucked up over his own stupidity. 

 

 Gabriel had been distracted, so distracted, all because of that. He’d been distracted to the point where he forgot something important, something he really shouldn’t have forgotten.

 

 When he came home from work to the smell of alcohol, to the sight of a trashed living room, and a pained groan, Gabriel quite literally dropped everything and ran.

 

 “Sam? Sam, where are you?” The apartment wasn’t huge, just big enough for them two, but he yelled anyway. Unsurprisingly, he found Sam in the bathroom, hunched over the toilet with an empty bottle of vodka next to him. “Sammy? Oh my god, angel.”

 

 Of all the things to forget, he forgot the anniversary of Jess’ death. For fuck’s sake, he even had a reminder set on his phone, the phone he forgot on his nightstand this morning. Every year, even after Sam had moved out, he hid all of the alcohol he had in the house. Not for him, but for Sam. Force of habit, for this reason exactly.

 

“Gabriel?” 

 

 “Okay, you’re sober enough to know my name.”

 

“‘m too sober,” Sam wasn’t slurring as badly as he could be. Definitely not as drunk as he’d gotten in years past. “Can still remember. I coulda saved her. D’ya think I coulda saved her?”

 

 “No, Sammy,” He’d learned that being honest in these situations worked best. Using pretty words and feeding him lies only made it worse when he woke up to reality. When he woke up to remember that Jess was still dead, that he still hadn’t been able to save her, that he’d still lost everything. “You couldn’t have. You would have ended up dead too.”

 

 The pained cry that tore itself from Sam’s throat made Gabriel wish that there was still some alcohol left in the empty bottle, to numb himself. “I wish I did. Don’t wanna be here without her.”

 

 “No, don’t you say that. She would have wanted you to live, Sam. Jess loved you because you’re beautiful alive. You make everything around you beautiful.”

 

“She was beautiful.”

 

 “She was,” Seeing that he didn’t look like he was going to throw up, Gabriel gently moved Sam back to sit against the wall. “But she would have wanted you to keep going, right?”

 

“Only reason I didn’t die was you.” 

 

 His heart cried out, desperately trying to think of a way to fix this, to fix how Sam was feeling. 

 

 “I couldn’t leave you in there.”

 

“No,” Sam shook his head hard, brow furrowed. “Not what I mean.”

 

 “Then what-”

 

“Couldn’t leave you. Still can’t.”

 

 “Sammy…” His voice was thick with tears, because how the hell was he supposed to respond to that? “Let’s get you inside.”

 

“Don’t wanna.”

 

 “Sucks to be you. Get up, kiddo,” Gabriel helped Sam get to his feet and walked him to their room, completely fine with Sam leaning on him. Digging through their closet, he pulled out Sam’s favorite pajamas, the ones he always put on when he needed some kind of comfort. “Let’s get you changed and in bed, yeah?”

 

“‘Kay.”

 

 Gabriel was so thankful that Sam still had some of his bearings, he’d always been terrible at helping him get dressed. 

 

 “You’re going to sleep now whether you like it or not,” He pressed a finger to Sam’s lips, silencing the protest he was sure was coming before it could even start. “I will knock you out myself if I have to. Go to sleep, Sam.”

 

“I can’t.”

 

 “Can too.”

 

“No, I can’t. Can’t sleep without you anymore,” He seemed annoyed about it. Whether he was frustrated at himself or at Gabriel, who knew. “Please?”

 

 How could he say no?

 

 Wrapped under the covers, he tried to pull Sam in, but he refused, instead hugging Gabriel close.

 

“Wanna keep you.”

 

 “You have me.”

 

“Mm-mm,” Sam buried his face in Gabriel’s hair. God, he sounded sad. What Gabriel wouldn’t do to make that go away and bring the smile he loved so much back. “You’re in love with someone else. Wish I could be him.”

 

 This was a dream, that’s what it was. A twisted, bittersweet dream that he knew wasn’t real. 

 

 “You’re drunk.”

 

“Mm-mm. Not that drunk.”

 

 “How many fingers am I holding up?” He didn’t even bother taking his hand out from under the covers.

 

“Zero, zero fingers.”

 

 “Damn, you’re good at this.”

 

“Can I keep you?”

 

 “Kid, I’d give you anything you ask for,” Fuck it, this was a dream. “You’re the idiot I’m in love with.”

 

“Mm-mm. You weren’t talking ‘bout me.”

 

 This hurt. It hurt so badly. He’d just about sell his soul for this to be real.

 

 “Was too.”

 

“You woulda told me before I got married.”

 

   “Nah,” He whispered. “I’m too stupid to do that. I want you happy, you can do better than me.”

 

“No! No, no. You’re wrong. Wrong,” Agitated, Sam tilted Gabriel’s head up and got close enough to press their noses together, entirely so they could look directly into each other’s eyes. “I want you.”

 

 Gabriel was crying now, he knew that. This was cruel, getting to hear every word he’d ever wished for and knowing that none of it was real. 

 

 As usual, Sam kissed his forehead, then his nose, and

 

 His lips

 

 Sam kissed him, softly, softly, their lips touching for barely even a moment. 

 

“Love you, Gabriel.”

 

 There was only the sound of Sam’s breathing evening out, only the dark room. Gabriel didn’t want to wake up from this dream, but he supposed that his brain was done with it already. He kissed Sam one last time before closing his eyes and waiting for daylight to bring him back to real life. 

 

_  It was nice while it lasted. _

 

_______________

 

 When he woke up, he was still in bed with Sam.

 

 He still smelled like alcohol, the living room was still a mess, but most importantly, he was still holding Gabriel.

 

 The entire reason he’d woken up was because of Sam groaning. He was sure that it had something to do with the hangover he’d be having to deal with today. 

 

“Ugh, what year is it?” Sam said sleepily. “Why is the light so loud? Gabriel, do me a favor and turn the sun off for me.”

 

 “I would, but then all life on earth would die, and I’m pretty attached to you. So you’ll just hafta deal with that for now,” He was right, the sun  _ was  _ too bright. “How’s the hangover doing?”

 

“I feel like something died in my mouth. And I think that someone’s driving a damn ice pick into my skull.”

 

 “Lemme out, I’m gonna go get you some aspirin. Water’s on the nightstand, by the way.”

 

“You’re a lifesaver.”

 

 Gabriel decided that yeah, bringing an extra cup of water with him would be a good idea. He was completely right, as Sam had had chugged the other cup. 

 

“Thanks, Gabe.”

 

 “Don’t need a trash can or toilet this year?”

 

 It was a low blow, a passive aggressive way of calling him out on what he was doing. 

 

“I’m sorry I always do this.”

 

 “It’s kind of on me, I didn’t remember to hide the booze.”

 

“You shouldn’t have to,” Sam said sadly. “It’s been years, I should have better coping skills by now.”

 

 “The girl you were in love with died in a really fucking awful way, I think it’s warranted.”

 

 He padded over to the bed, sitting next to Sam. In the silence, Gabriel wondered just how much he remembered. 

 

“This is the first year since I moved out that I’ve had someone with me for the anniversary.”

 

 “Wait, what about Amelia?”

 

“She didn’t know how to deal with it,” Sam scoffed bitterly, looking angrier at himself than anyone else. “She’d just get me a bottle of whatever and stay the night at a friend’s house.”

 

 “Oh, Sammy…” The image of Sam drinking alone until he blacked out terrified and infuriated him. Nobody deserved to be alone at a time like that. Especially not Sam. “Why didn’t you call me?”

 

“I didn’t want to bother you.”

 

 “You’re such an ass sometimes. You never bother me, and at times like that I damn well expect at least a call!”

 

“Sorry, Gabe.” 

 

 Leaning down, he kissed Sam’s forehead and the tip of his nose with a smile.

 

 “It’s alright, ya big hungover moose.”

 

“Love you, Gabriel.” Sam said with a grin. Gabriel wondered exactly how he meant that. He would ask eventually, but now wasn’t the time.

 

 “I love you too, kid.”

 

 That was it. That was the most important conversation that day. Gabriel made breakfast, or rather, lunch. Sam got over his hangover. They laughed and recuperated from the previous night, thanking their lucky stars that it was a weekend. 

 

 Then they went right back to normal.

 

 He wasn’t sure if Sam didn’t remember, or if he regretted it, but no matter what the reason, Gabriel refused to bring it up. There was too much at stake. He’d had that one night, and that was all he really needed. One insignificant kiss. One false confession of love. One night that may as well have been a dream.  

 

 That didn’t mean they finally put Sam’s things into his old room, that didn’t mean that anything came between them. It meant that Gabriel had finally come to terms with his feelings. That’s what he told himself.

 

_______________

 

 It had been  _ months  _ since he’d been woken up in the wee hours of the morning with some asshole pounding at the door. He and Sam groaned, trying to ignore it. But whoever the hell it was wouldn’t stop, so Gabriel did exactly what he always did.

 

 He hopped right the fuck out of bed to get his baseball bat and stomped his ass to the door. 

 

 “Kali, if that’s you, I swear on my life that I’ll throw you out of the building!”

 

_ Dammit, I still need a fucking peephole _

 

 Sure enough, the door opened to reveal his lovely ex-girlfriend, accompanied by the same guy he’d done some facial reconstruction on. 

 

 “Hey, I remember you! How’s the nose doing? Did it survive batting practice?”

 

 The man growled and surged forward, only stopping when Kali raised her hand, signaling him to stand down. 

 

“I believe I left a bracelet here last time I visited, Gabriel.”

 

 “Last time you ‘visited’,” Gabriel sneered, making air quotes. “The only thing you left behind was this fucker’s dignity.”

 

 Growling louder, the man had to be physically shoved back this time.

 

 “What is he, your guard dog? I’ll send you off with a dictionary so you can learn to speak soon, Fido.”

 

“I just want my bracelet, you overgrown child.”

 

 “Kali!” He exclaimed, gasping dramatically as he held a hand to his heart. “You wound me. Here I was thinking you loved me, seeing as you’re always here!”

 

“Baldur, get him.”

 

“Gabe? What’s going on here?”

 

 A warm hand landed on his shoulder, and immediately he felt any and all fear dissipate. Sam was here, he was safe. 

 

 “Oh, nothing. Just charming little Kali decided to bring Spike over here for another ass-kicking.”

 

 Eyes narrowing, Sam sized Baldur up, scanning him head to toe. Snorting, he dismissed him and turned to Kali.

 

“Remind me why you’re here at,” Sam stole a glance at his watch. “Three o’ nine in the morning?”

 

“You don’t matter to me,” She sniffed. “Gabriel, on the other hand, has my bracelet.” 

 

 “I don’t own any bracelets unless they’re the ones Sam gave me!” 

 

“On about your boyfriend again, huh?” Kali snarled, taking a step forward. “It was always about him. How  _ pathetic  _ do you have to be to break up with someone because you’re in love with somebody who couldn’t care less about you?”

 

Sam put a protective arm in front of Gabriel, staring her down to make sure she understood what he was trying to say: Don’t fucking touch him. He stuck his other hand out in front of him, inviting her to shake it. Inspecting it, she shook his hand. Gabriel knew she’d try to assert dominance, make her grip as tight as possible. Gabriel  _ also _ knew that Sam could break someone’s hand without even trying.

 

“Kali, is it?” Smiling dryly, she gave him a curt nod. “I’m Sam Winchester. I’d say it’s nice to meet you, but it’s not.”

 

 The few seconds it took her to process what she’d just been told were some of the best ones of Gabriel’s life. Shock bloomed on her face, quickly followed by disgust and rage. 

 

“ _ You, _ ” She hissed. “ _ You’re  _ the reason this happened.”

 

“Uh, I think so? What exactly are you talking abou-” 

 

“You don’t even love him back! He’s head over heels for you and you don’t even care! I gave a damn, okay? I loved him, I loved him more than you ever could!”

 

 With no warning, Sam leaned down and brought their lips together, shy and sweet. He’d waited so long for this, too long, and now that it was happening, his brain completely shorted out. Leaning into him, Gabriel clutched Sam’s shirt and dragged him down, desperate for more. Lost in each other, they completely forgot where they were and who they were around until Baldur cleared his throat loudly.

 

 Gabriel had always joked that Kali’s eyes went red when she was angry, but there were times when he thought that might be legitimate. This was one of those times. He could almost feel her eating his damn soul.

 

“Keep the bracelet. You won’t be hearing from me again.”

 

“I’m heartbroken, really.”

 

“Fuck you, Winchester.” 

 

 Stalking off, Kali didn’t bother calling Baldur to go along with her, instead leaving him there. Standing and staring at them, you could have mistaken him as a statue.

 

 “You planning on leaving soon, or do I have to take matters into my own hands?” 

 

 Baldur was gone pretty quickly after that. 

 

 Shutting the door behind him, Gabriel was ready to go back to bed and pretend nothing happened.  _ Again. _

 

“Oh no, not this time,” Gabriel yelped, suddenly being lifted up off the floor and thrown onto the couch. “Sit your ass down.”

 

 Sitting himself up, his mind went into overdrive. Every terrible outcome possible was going through his head, making him feel queasy.

 

_  This is it, this is how I lose him _

 

“Can I sit next to you?” 

 

 “Please,” Gabriel said, voice cracking. “Please hold me one more time.”

 

“Whoa, whoa, wait,” Sam tipped Gabriel’s head up to look at him. “Let me summarize what I’m about to talk about so you’ll stop freaking out. I’m in love with you, I’ve been in love with you for a  _ long  _ time, and I don’t think I’ll ever stop being in love with you. The end.”

 

 “You’re in love with me?”

 

 Sam nodded violently, his cheeks pink. “I really am, and I really hope you feel the same or this is going to get really awkward  _ really  _ fast.”

 

 “The tips of your ears go red when you blush. Before anything else, it’s always your ears.”

 

“Are they doing that right now?”

 

 “They got redder when I said that!” 

 

 Gabriel giggled. Honest to god giggled. People were always talking about cloud 9, but he’d never quite believed it up until now, when he was right on it. 

 

 “Yes, I’m in love with you. I’ve been gone for you since,” He tried to think. That little boy with the puppy eyes ringing the doorbell and apologizing for crashing his bike into their damn mailbox. That was when he learned about how love began, and eventually, about how it grew. “Well, since day one.”

 

 Sam really did hold him then, kissing the top of his head, just like he always did. “Really?”

 

 “I’ve always been a sucker for your eyes.”

 

“I think I fell when I got my first girlfriend.”

 

 “Wow. That’s somehow both super gay and extremely straight.”

 

 Sam laughed so hard he snorted, a rare occurrence. “Yeah, I guess it is, isn’t it?”

 

 “Was your girlfriend really so awful that you went and fell for me?”

 

“Nah, it wasn’t her. I think it was the fact that she wasn’t you. She cheated on me and sure, it made me sad, but you were there. I was happier about you than I was about her,” Sam gave him a squeeze. “I’ve loved you since then.”

 

 “Huh.”

 

“Mm-hmm.”

 

 “We’re total idiots.”

 

“Oh, definitely.” 

 

 Without warning, he was getting picked up again and being carried to the room.

 

 “Hey! At least tell me when you’re gonna do that!”

 

“Where’s the fun in that?” Sam laughed, tossing Gabriel onto the bed and cannonballing into it right next to him. Once he got settled in, Sam made grabby hands at Gabriel. “C’mere.”

 

 He started scooting towards him before Sam had even finished talking, nuzzling right into his chest. Strong arms held him, and he knew he was safe right there. 

 

 Looking up at Sam, Gabriel brought him down to meet halfway with a long-overdue kiss. Heart full to bursting, he couldn’t help but whine when Sam pulled away. 

 

“Can I keep you?” Sam whispered.

 

 “Only if I can keep you, too.”

 

“How about we keep each other?”

 

 “I like the sound of that.” 

 

 Just like every other night, Sam dropped a kiss on Gabriel’s forehead

 

 On his nose

 

 And finally, finally, on his lips. 

 

“Love you, Gabriel.”

  
 “I love you too, Sammy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is officially the one and only chapter fic that I have managed to finish writing. I'm proud of me! I'm also kinda sad because it's over and I love these two :(
> 
> I really hope you guys enjoyed this, becausr I know I did. Please comment feedback, it helps keep me motivated and helps me know what you all do and don't like!

**Author's Note:**

> Yeahhh, sorry about that. To fix things, sometimes you've gotta break 'em first. I sat and thought about my writing for a bit today and realized that I'm always hurting Sam. My WIPs especially. Poor Sam. I swear I love him, I express my love by hurting them!
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed it! Please comment feedback, it helps keep me motivated and helps me know what you guys do and don't like!
> 
> Follow me on Instagram at @archangelica_angelica or on tumblr at innersanctuaries if you want to get in touch or just to watch me shitpost!


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